In this year, different from my past years, where everyting goes by slowly or, in the worst case, didn't go at all, now, things happens in a so intense and abrupt way, leave me a little bit concerned about the future.
I'm very afraid of changes. Even the good ones. And it's not because of a coward point of view, it's because my fear of been left shooting in the dark. It's not the fear of fall, but the fear of fall and somehow, can't find anything to reach my bare hands and grab, in an effort of stay back on my feet, again.
Good and bad news for this month. Muneerah and I were "fired" from Al Maual. I was so angry and so pissed off. And after that, some things start to happen. As I said here, I started ballet classes. After one month, my teacher, Mrs. Shaide Halim, invited me to give classes of bellydance in her dance
studio! I'm happy, but a little scared! I hope that this second experience will be better than the previous one.In the end we always trying to please somebody.
And later came other really nice invite: for her burlesque / vintage class at Thursday. I accept without think twice! But the annoying part is how my family receive it. Somethimes I think
they just are so scared and concerned about other's opinion, and how the bellydance community will
receive this. And of course, usually this topic became an arguing between us.

Sketch of night. Done yesterday at sound of Diva Destruction, with photo reference, drawing entirely
on digital media. In my next post, I promisse that I'll write about my Live Schedule, and anything more useful about illustration or dance, but not today.

Today I'm very sad. Sad of can't be there for a friend, when she really need me. For can't be able, strong to protect those ones that I loved and care so much. I don't wanna live in a world where dance became a way of decrease the woman's value as a person, and when a lolita can't walk freely on the
streets without fearing others.

In the end I think there it's no difference between an performer with her risqué clothes and a lolita, dressed in laces and pettitcoats. Both need high heels to distance herself from the cruelty and pain of reality.



what a wonderful art, i love it! [��ʸ��:v-238]
i used to take ballet as well, tchaikovsky ballet :)
and hope you feel well hun
  • posted by rily 
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  • 2010.09/27 18:10分 
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